Murderous in[Sanity]

Okay, so some really weird shit has been happening to me that has caused to...yes, I admit it...feel fear. Despite common opinion, I am -- in fact -- often weakened by feelings, and one of those feelings that I am certainly not proud of is fear. I'm afraid. There. I said it. Sue me.

Since I can't really tell anyone in person (they would think me insane), I feel the need to dedicate a post on here to the causes of this fear. This will mostly just be my excuse to vent about why the hell I -- Rowan, that crazy bitch who often seems completely emotionless -- am even afraid in the first place. So listen close. This is a once in a lifetime deal.


-->The Deal<--
Here's the deal: Weird shit is happening to me.
When?: Some strange things have always sort of occured, but I've almost always viewed them as coincidences. Lately, as in "since last month"-lately, things have been happening that I can't ignore, and I can't pawn off as coincidences.
Why?: That's what I'm trying to find out.
Whatthehellisgoingon?: Thank you for asking. Now I may begin.

I guess I should start with the numbers. On June 13th, 2009 (it was Monday), after finally managing to fall asleep at midnight, I woke up at exactly 1:23AM. On the following Tuesday, the same thing happened, and the same again on the Wednesday. I found this slightly odd, but thought little of it until, exactly three weeks later, on August 3rd, I woke up at exactly 1:23AM. The same thing happened on the following Tuesday and Wednesday. Since then, I've seen the numbers 3 and 9 (3x3) literally everywhere. This was indeed quite frightening, so I did some research on numerology.

-->The Numbers<--
Supposedly, the number 3 (which seems to be incredibly significant in most religions and spiritual occults) means several different things, some of which are listed below:


-Chinese say: 3 is a perfect number.
-Mayans say: the sacred number of woman.
-Egyptians say: the number of the cosmos.

In other cultures, and as a general rule of thumb, the number three is:
-universally significant
-the number of balance
-a symbol of harmony
-believed to encompass the attributes of both the number 1 (unity, simplicity, and agreement) and 2 (duality, complexity, and tension)
-a representative of opposites and the harmony between them

...and so on and so forth. Apparently, 3 is a very complex, yet simplified number. I don't understand the point of it, or why I'm seeing things in sets of three, but that is that.

-->The...Well, Just Read and Find Out<--
Now, I'll advance to the much creepier part...the part that you need to look at objectively, from my point of view as a completely sane individual. Because you need to keep that in mind as you read this: I am and have always been sane. That's what I tell myself. Therefore, you must tell yourself the same.

All right, a few oddities have stuck out over the past few weeks, but the strangest and most vivid of these "strangenesses" occurred this past Monday -- the 17th of August. I didn't mention it then because I was, frankly, very weirded out.

It was nighttime, I don't recall the exact time I realized what was happening, but I know it was late -- at least 10:30PM. In any case, it was late and my grandmother and mother were both in their beds, and my little brother, Declan, was in his room on his computer, I believe. (However, I was unaware of this final part until much later.)

I was sitting at my computer, typing away, chatting with friends, and listening briefly to the noises coming from the back room -- the game room that is on one side of my bedroom. At the time, I believed my brother was back there, watching television. I could hear sighing, and shifting on the couch, and creaking of the floorboards, and something that sounded like the faint hum of the T.V. "Oh," I thought to myself, hearing another irritated sigh erupt from the back room. "I want water." So I rose, and walked to the back room, wholly intending to make my poor little brother (*coughSLAVE?cough*) get me some water.

But when I peered around the doorway...

Yes. The room was completely empty. At that point, I could even feel a slight chill (though no air conditioning has ever reached that room since we moved in here a year ago -- it's like a god damn tropical island). But that could have simply been my imagination. Or maybe it was the fact that every ounce of blood in me suddenly froze.

Either way, that was quite obviously a very scary encounter. I remained the rest of the night wrapped in a blanket in the corner of my room farthest from the back room.

I may not be sure exactly what's going, or why strange things are happening to me, but I know that the most prominent thought in my mind then, besides the wild fear running rampant in my brain, was: gotta write about it now.

Last night I started a book -- the events of which were inspired by true events.

*insert scoff* That's a writer for you.