Murderous in[Sanity]

I'm using my neighbor's internet, and I'm not sure how long I have, but I decided to come on and give you an account of yesterday's mall expedition.

Point number one for this session: I went to the mall.

Yes, I went to the mall. I practically lived in Zumiez, Pac Sun, Hot Topic, Aeropostale, etc etc etc--and I did all this while the mother, brother, and grandmama waltzed around a few stores behind me.

Point number two: I bought an awesome stud belt at Pac Sun. (:

But the funniest thing: When I was in Pac Sun there was these two guys who flirted with me the whole time. The first guy (a cutie with glasses whom I shall call Four-Eyes) said to me as soon as I walked in, "You look warm".

WTF KIND OF PICKUP LINE IS THAT.

But anyway, there was this other guy (whom I shall call Pac Man) who actually followed me around the store. He cracked me up so much that I feel obliged to share some of our conversation with you, my imaginary followers.
~
Me: *looking at hot pink and lime green skinneh jeanz and singing along to the music*
Pac Man: I wouldn't go with the pink jeans, if I were you.
Me: Why not?
Pac Man: Well, they may look cool and all, but they only come in regulars and *HERE'S HIS LAME ASS PICKUP LINE* you look like you need a long.
Me: Wow, thanks for pointing that out.
Pac Man: What? What's wrong with being tall?
Me: Just about everything.
Pac Man: Naw, here's a secret. Guys love tall chics, 'coz there's like, more of 'em to love, you know? Plus, tall girls are usually pretty fit.
Me: *catching on the bad flirting right about.........now* No way, man; I'm like the god damn Amazon woman walking down the street and everyone around me going, 'Aaaaaah'.
Pac Man: *laughing his ass off for no reason* Well, you know *ANOTHER LAME ASS THING TO SAY TO A GIRL* my last girlfriend was 6'1".
Me: Holy shit. She was enormous.
Pac Man: *laughing even though I practically insulted his last girlfriend* Yeah, so tall girls are great.
~
And one point flipping eight minutes later.
~
Me: *tying my shoe*
Pac Man: *surprise* Hey.
Me: *has a heart attack* Hi...
Pac Man: Do you want me to like, put together an outfit for you? I'm good with matching colors. *points to blue shirt then to blue eyes* See?
Me: *laughing, recovering from heart attack* No thanks, I'm just looking, I don't really have any money at the moment. *LIES, BITCH, LIES*
Pac Man: Aw, you don't have to buy it, I can just put it together for you and you can try it on.
~
Does anyone else get the impression that he thinks I'm a Barbie? *I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie wo-or-rld. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhe-er-ere. Imagination, life is your creation...* I dunno...maybe it's just me...
~
And this is right before I left, when I was buying the belt, after almost half an hour of him flirting and me getting all uncomfortable.
~
Pac Man: That'll be $16.50. Thought you didn't have any money. *impish grin*
Me: *taking the change from the $20* I have four bucks now. *MORE LIES*
Pac Man: *laughing like I said the funniest thing since the beginning of time* Well it's more than I have now. I just paid off my car.
Me: *jealous* I don't have a car. Or a job, for that matter.
Pac Man: Why not?
Me: Not old enough.
Pac Man: You're not in college?
Me: Nope. High school.
Pac Man: How old?
Me: 15. Turning 16 in January.
Pac Man: *looking like he saw Big Foot* You look a lot older.
Me: *sighing* So I'm told.
Pac Man: I'm sure you can get a job somewhere. You really do look a lot older.
Me: Yeah, maybe after my birthday. *taking belt* Thanks, man.
Pac Man: No problem. Come back soon, really.
Me: Yeah, I'll definately be back. To spend my four dollars. Later. *pathetic wave*
Pac Man: *laughing again*
Me: *fleeing for my life*
~
And so ends my mall expedition. I didn't get to stay in Hot Topic long, since Dragonlady is afraid of the store. ):

In other news, Dec bought Call of Duty 3 for Wii!! It's totally awesome. I played it for like an hour last night.

So the moral of the story is...well, come up with one and let me know. Ciao~

Oh. My. HOLYMOTHERFUCK.

I finally managed to get onto the internet. I figured that -- screw it -- I was gonna sneak onto my mom's computer. I'll be doing this a lot. I don't even care. It's been more than a month and I'm seriously suffering from internet deprevation. I've been writing a lot (*total understatement*), and watching hardly any TV, and reading a thousand and one books, and awaiting the few measley hours I have every day to leave the house and interact with other life forms people.

In other news, I can't remember any news, which isn't exactly unusual. I'm just really glad to be back on track -- or almost, anyway.

I'm going to my brother's soccer game tomorrow, and I'm hoping to see my bestie tharr. (:

Besides all that crap, I'd simply like to let you all know that I'll be posting a ridiculous amount of bullshit over these next few days since I have this drive to "make up" all the weeks I missed.

But just so everyone knows -- I'm back, bitches. Just make sure to tell your friends so they have time to get into their bombs shelters. (:

So today is September 9, 2009. The ninth day of the ninth month in the year two-thousand and nine. Since this won't happen again for another one-thousand years, I felt that it deserved a mini-post of its own. And I mean mini. Because it ends. Like now.

Just kidding. (:

A few things that will help this post be les mini:

I started my dance aerobics classes last night.

And I've got it again tomorrow night, from 5:30pm to 6:30pm at some tiny building that I walk by like every day but I've never seen it before (go figure).

I went to my little brother's soccer scrimage today.

And I saw AiLeeN! Ohmygoodgollygosh, I haven't seen my adorable muse in so long, it was really great talking toher again. (Unfortunately, Ailz, I won't be at the game tomorrow evening, since I've got my dance aerobics class.)

Anyway, I'm going to head off to watch a movie with my captors family that the prison warden my mother picked up from the ghetto Giant today.

...

My, my, what a perfectly ruined sentence...

But yes. I wrote about two thousand words for Lies yesterday, which isn't too bad. I'm still aiming for 250k by December 31st, which -- in case you were wondering, and even if you weren't you'll read on anyway -- is going to be a Blue Moon. So exciting. (:

Well, have a nice rest-of-the-night, my lovely minions.

So maybe I don't have that Linksys card yet. Maybe my neighbor's internet enjoys pissing me off. Maybe the 'Enter' button on my calculator is choosing not to cooperate. Maybe there's someone out there deliberately trying to make my life hell.

Well you know what, you stupid demon, whoever you are? Screw you. I got up at 7:23AM this morning with a smile on my face, I'm working through my languages review, it's coming into the wonderful fall season, I've got an aerobics class tonight with a friend, and I'm going out to buy two new pairs sexy-ass skinneh jeans sometime this week. Nothing can ruin my day. So screw you.

That pretty much sums up the next few days, so I'd like to tell you a little about last night. I watched a movie with the family (I Love You, Man for those of you who were wondering; it was a great movie, but the way; cute and funny) and I fell asleep at like 10:30PM which is a really good thing. I was able to enjoy a good deal of sleep during the night.

I mean, except for that one part where I woke up to singing.

Yeah, singing.

I have no idea what time it was since, for some reason, my clock was completely black, but it didn't matter. Basically, the singing woke me up and put me back to sleep. I really have no idea if it was a dream or not, and I don't care either. Was it weird? Yes. Possibly a dream? Yes. Was Kurt Cobain an alien from outer space or was he simply an amazing singer/lead guitarist for one of the greatest bands in the world? Who knows.

But I'm positive about one thing.

I'm going to look really damn good after these aerobics classes are up.

Have a nice morning, everyone. Merry part. (:

{start hardly important note}

Something is vitally wrong with not only my brain, my internet, and my ability to express patience, but now Blogger has failed me also! It's a most tragic thing when something that you post on one day shows up as something you posted the next day. I was forced to edit yesterday’s post to make it look like I wasn’t a day behind the rest of the world. Good gods.

If that make absolutely no sense, allow me to explain. Yesterday was the Full Moon, so I posted that last post yesterday. However, when I had two seconds to get onto the internet today to check my blog for mistakes...I found that what I had posted yesterday showed up as something that I had posted today. Which is completely absurd.

I have this strange feeling like someone out there wants me dead.

{/end hardly important note}

In other news, I still don't have that Linksys card.

In other other news, it's a wonderful day outside, so I may be going to a walk to clear my head of all this nonsense. Oh yeah, also I had off from school last week due to the camping trip, and I heard that publi schools in my area had gone back to school last Monday SO HAHA.

Sorry, Aily, but I'm a mean bee-otch and you had school when I didn't and it was so purdy outside so too bad sux2bu hahaha. Just kidding. (: I bet you had a wonderful first week of school.

To anyone else out there, I apologize for my abrasiveness. Sort of.

So the Full Moon was yesterday! I did a few minor rituals and spell-casting and I'm hoping some of them turn out to be successful. I woke up this morning pleased with myself; even my despicable excuse for an internet connection can’t get on my nerves today (well, not too much anyway…). I was a little wary about how I could have done the rituals without the Demonchild (brother) and the Dragonlady (mother) finding out. But as usual, I managed to figure something out. I always do.

In other news…Lies has actually moved forward a bit (roughly seven more pages), and I’m expecting about another couple chapters before it’s finished! Maybe my lack of patience for my neighbor’s internet has done some good after all.

Also, I promised y’all in the previous post that I would tell you a bit about the camping trip. So here’re a few things that I managed to rummage up from the depths of my subconscious.

It lasted four thousand years (Sunday thru Wednesday).

It was colder than Antarctica (roughly 60s the whole time).

There were enough trees to suffocate you (the forest=pwnage).

It smelled like burning flesh the whole time (more like fire and the great outdoors).

I was commanded to walk from Texas all the way to Canada before finally settling in New York (we did walk a lot, but hell – I lost a great deal of weight).

We were forced to sleep on rocks so numerous that there was hardly any ground at all (well…this one I can’t argue with; my neck is still really sore and I hurt in places that one should never hurt).

Other things to point out would perhaps be the fact that we stayed at a campsite the digits of which added up to 9, I heard whispering voices and scratching noises that freaked me the hell out, and we had ICE CREAM. Yes, ice cream. It was wonderful.

All in all, the trip was pretty fun, even though I’m not much of a camper. We also went to a lake, but I ended up only going in up to my ankles because it was so cold that I truly couldn’t move my feet. (Note to self: When standing in a lake of ice-water and flirting with a cute lifeguard, move feet constantly; otherwise, they stick to cold lake floor.)

We got back at half past midnight on Wednesday, and the moon was high in the sky. After a while of unpacking and another longer while of the ‘rents arguing up a storm, I fell into bed. It was 1:23am. Strangely enough, it didn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s like I’m used to it now.

But it’s really great to be back, and as soon as I get a normal people internet that doesn’t piss me off and works normally and doesn’t do not-normal things like shutting down without warning and erasing information that I have stored... *cough* Well, as soon as I get internet, this blog will be much more regular (regularer?), and I’ll be talking with my friends on AIM, Facebook, Myspace, and so forth.

Until then, I bid you all adieu, and hope you all had as pleasant a Full Moon as I did. (:

P.S. The squirrels in New York are like the Asians in Philly – they’re small, they travel in packs, and they look like they could kick your ass if need be. Note to self: Avoid New Yorker squirrel gangs.

NOTE: This post was actually written by moi last Saturday, but due to computer complications and certain camping trip serenading, I was unable to post it. But since I put a crapload of time and effort into this batch of complaining, I'm going to post it anyway. My next blog will most likely cover my camping trip, since I'm sure that uber long blog posts tend to frighten some people.

- - - - -

Either I am the most unlucky person alive, or Karma really wants to kick my ass.

This whole week has been really crappy and it’s starting to get on my nerves. I guess I owe you all an explanation. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Monday: I knew it was going to be a bad week, because I woke up with the sheets on my bed literally trying to strangle me. I tripped a lot, and fell into a few walls (which really isn’t that much different than my normal life). Then I ended up getting almost no work done, so that hung over my head for the good part of the night.

Tuesday: Tuesday actually wasn’t too bad. I got up early, worked really hard, and ate a healthy breakfast of {insert something that sounds tastier than it actually is here}.

Wednesday: Oh, but WEDNESDAY. The shit really hit the fan on Wednesday. I told you all about the morning part of When-will-it-end-day, but the evening…the EVENING nearly killed me. Listen up – I was just barely finished recuperating from the morning practice that I wasn’t informed about, and then I went to my scrimmage. Luckily for the coach, she had actually told me about that. So I went, all suited up and in my hockey gear. I asked Coach Judge if I was playing in either the Varsity game or the Junior Varsity game and she – with a considerable amount of attitude, might I add – informed me that I could have been playing in either. A.K.A.: “You’ll sit through both games – two full hours of hockey – because I said you would. So ha, take that.” I figured that punching her in the face really wouldn’t get me anywhere but court, so I dealt with her bitchiness and sat with a few of my friends.

After the first game, I got my stuff together. For some reason, I was deluded enough to think that Couch Bitch would actually let me play. But I’m getting ahead of myself, as usual. When the second game began, there were only about five girls who hadn’t played much in the first game, and I was the only one who hadn’t played a single minute. So we all lined up and the Coach had the daring to say, “If some of you are wondering why you haven’t played yet, then you obviously haven’t been listening, because I’ve already seen the other coaches call names and they didn’t receive a response. It’s not the coach’s responsibility to make sure you all are paying attention.” At each pause for emphases, she looked directly at me with her beady little green eyes that I so badly wanted to stab out with a butter knife.

Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. There wasn’t a single second during that whole game that I wasn’t paying attention. I started ticking down the moments of Coach Judge’s life.

Despite the malicious fantasies of me causing Coach Bitch a lot of pain, I swallowed the Bullshit Pill and sat back down. “One more half,” I told myself, “she’ll put me in the last half. She will. If she doesn’t, I’m out. But she’ll put me in. She definitely will.”

Guess what? Yup. You guessed it. She didn’t. Apparently, I’d underestimated her level of stupidity.

Keeping my mental promise, I picked up my gear, and walked the hell off the field. I didn’t look back. Hell, I didn’t even go back, and I don’t intend to. That’s right; I quit field hockey. I’ve had enough of Judge’s shit, but apparently she hasn’t had enough of mine. My parents, my crazy-ass mother in particular, were livid. They’ve been plotting against Coach Bitch ever since.

Thursday: It gets worse? you’re wondering. Yes sir, it most certainly does. Some guy from Comcast cable came out yesterday to the house and knocked us off of Verizon. I lost my internet service and won’t be getting it back until I buy some sort of Linksys card for my computer. Until then, I’ll be sitting around, doing stuff-that-doesn’t-involve-my-nonexistent-internet.

Friday: In fact, yesterday things actually started looking up. I mean, it pissed rain, but I love the rain. Plus, I got to watch a movie instead of doing some schoolwork, so I was rather pleased.

- - - - -

As exciting as all that was, there’s more. I realize this is an incredibly long post, but it’s necessary…and I have no internet access so this is actually being typed up on Word. And I feel the need to inform all my loyal followers (both real and imaginary) of my several life adventures.
Okay, remember when I told you about the 1:23AM thing? Well, last Monday (the 24th), the beginning of one of the shittiest weeks in a long time, I actually woke up at 1:23AM. It started again, and on Tuesday and Wednesday…the same thing. Did all my bad luck have to do with 1:23AM? Is this going to happen anytime again soon? I don’t know the answers, and I’m not sure I want to find out. I’m not as scared as I was before, because – hey, at least I didn’t die, yah know?

Anyway, it may not mean anything, but it was at the end of Thursday (the 27th) that things started to appear better. 3x9=27? Who knows, anymore? All I know is that though this numerology stuff may be affecting my life, I’m not going to let it overrun my brain.

I mean, I’ve got enough shit on my plate right now.